Should I Leave My Relationship? 5 Tarot Spreads to Help You Decide
How do you know if you should stay in a relationship or leave? Use to use the Tarot to understand and decide.
"Should I leave my partner?"
If this question has been haunting your thoughts, you're probably feeling completely overwhelmed right now. Maybe you've been pulling tarot cards obsessively, hoping for a clear answer, or maybe you've been afraid to even ask the cards because you're not ready to hear what they might say.
➤ Here's the thing - you're not alone in feeling torn. In my work with women facing difficult relationship decisions, I see this struggle all the damn time.
You're caught between staying in something that drains your soul and stepping into the terrifying unknown. Both paths feel scary as hell.
➤ Let me be super clear about something: Tarot is a powerful tool for self-reflection and gaining clarity, but it's not a magic 8-ball that makes life decisions for you.
Relationships are messy, complicated, layered with history, emotions, practical considerations, and deep spiritual connections. The cards can shine a light on what's already in your heart and help you see patterns you might be missing, but ultimately, this decision belongs to you.
Instead of looking for the cards to give you a simple yes-or-no answer (which honestly, they rarely do), let's explore how tarot can help you understand what you're really dealing with.
➤ These five tarot approaches can guide you toward your own inner wisdom.
So, grab your journal, cards, and find a quite spot and let’s get started.
Question 1: Are You Happy More Than Unhappy?
I know this sounds simple, but bear with me here. It's actually harder to answer honestly than you might think.
A lot of people stay in marriages and relationships where they're miserable most of the time because they've just... gotten used to it. Or they tell themselves "all relationships are hard" and leave it at that.
➤ Try this: Think about the last month - not just the big moments, but regular Tuesday afternoons.
How many days did you feel genuinely okay versus how many days you felt drained, frustrated, or sad because of your relationship?
➤ And here's a big one - do you find yourself walking on eggshells?
Like you're constantly watching what you say or do to avoid setting them off? When you're always careful about your words at home, that's not a relationship - that's survival mode.
The Emotional Truth Spread - Are You Happy More Than Unhappy?
Try this simple three-card spread:
Card 1: How I truly feel in this relationship
Card 2: What I tell myself about how I feel
Card 3: The truth I'm avoiding
When I do this spread with clients, the contrast between cards 1 and 2 often reveals everything. You might pull a card showing sadness for your true feelings, a card about family stability for what you tell yourself, and a card about needing solitude for the truth you're avoiding.
Questions to ask your cards:
"What does my daily emotional experience really look like?"
"Where am I walking on eggshells in this relationship?"
"What would genuine happiness feel like for me?"
Pay attention to the energy of the cards. Are you seeing lots of Swords (mental anguish, conflict) or challenging Cups (emotional depletion)? Or do you see cards of genuine contentment and growth? Your cards don't lie, even when your mind tries to rationalize things.
Question 2: Do You Feel Heard and Valued?
This one hits hard because I think most people know the answer before they even ask it.
In a healthy relationship, you should feel like your thoughts and feelings actually matter to your partner. You should be able to bring up a concern without it turning into World War III.
Think about the last time you tried to talk about something important to you. Did they actually listen, or did they get defensive and turn it back on you? When you're upset about something, do they try to understand why, or do they tell you you're being "too sensitive" or "dramatic"?
➤ Here's what I've noticed - a lot of women start asking for less and less over time because they've learned their voice doesn't really matter.
If you feel like you're constantly shrinking yourself or walking away from conversations feeling unheard, that tells you something important about this relationship.
Being heard isn't about getting your way all the time. It's about having a partner who respects you enough to actually listen, even when it's uncomfortable.
The "Voice and Response" Spread:
Card 1: How I express myself in this relationship
Card 2: How my expression is received
Card 3: What my soul needs to feel heard
I've seen this spread reveal so much. A client once pulled a card about clear communication for how she expresses herself, a card showing conflict for how it's received, and a card representing creative nurturing for what her soul needed. The pattern was clear - her voice was being shut down when it should have been celebrated.
Questions for your cards:
"How has my voice changed in this relationship over time?"
"What happens to my authentic self when I try to be heard?"
"Where am I making myself smaller to keep the peace?"
Notice if you're consistently seeing cards about suppression, defensive energy, or the need to withdraw. These patterns tell a story about whether your essential self can thrive in this relationship. If you need more help feeling heard in your relationship you can read more here:
How to Use the Tarot to Finally Feel Heard in Your Relationship
Question 3: Do You Still Respect Each Other?
Okay, this is where we get real.
You might still love your partner - love is complicated like that - but do you actually respect them? And more importantly, does they show respect for you?
➤ Respect shows up in the small stuff.
Does they talk to you like you're their partner or like you're annoying them? When you disagree about something, do they stick to the actual issue or does they attack your character? Do you find yourself making excuses for their behavior to your friends and family?
➤ And honestly, look at your own feelings too.
Do you roll your eyes when they talk? Do you feel more like their mother than their partner? Have you stopped seeing them as someone you can actually count on?
When respect is gone from both sides, the relationship becomes this breeding ground for resentment. You can love someone and still recognize that you don't respect how they treat you. That's not a character flaw - that's your intuition telling you something important.
The "Mirror of Respect" Spread:
Card 1: How I truly see my partner now
Card 2: How my partner truly sees me
Card 3: What my heart knows about this
This spread often brings up uncomfortable truths. You might see cards showing disappointment for how you view your partner, or cards showing lack of appreciation for how they see you. Sometimes the cards reveal that respect has transformed into something unhealthy or that you're both feeling unsupported.
Questions to explore:
"When did I stop seeing my partner as someone I admire?"
"Where do I feel more like a parent than a partner?"
"What would mutual respect actually feel like?"
Pay attention to whether the cards show any possibility of rebuilding respect or if they consistently point to patterns too deep to change.
Question 4: Are You Growing in the Same Direction?
People change - that's just life.
The question is whether you and your partner are growing together or growing into completely different people who don't really fit anymore.
➤ Think about who you've become over the last few years compared to who they’ve become.
Are you both working toward things that actually align? Do you share the same values about the important stuff - family, money, how you treat people, what you want out of life?
➤ And here's something I see a lot - do they actually support your growth?
When you achieve something or get excited about a new interest, are they genuinely proud of you, or do they seem threatened or dismissive? Because a good partner should be cheering you on, not making you feel bad for becoming a better version of yourself.
Sometimes one person grows while the other stays exactly the same. Maybe you've gotten stronger, developed new interests, or deepened your spiritual life, while they seem stuck in the same patterns. Or maybe you've both changed, but in directions that just don't work together anymore.
➤ Growing apart doesn't make either of you the bad guy, but it can make you incompatible.
If you want fundamentally different things from life now, that's worth paying attention to.
The "Paths of Growth" Spread:
Card 1: Who I am becoming
Card 2: Who my partner is becoming
Card 3: Whether our paths can align
I've done this reading with women who discovered beautiful things - like seeing cards of spiritual awakening for their growth while their partner shows stability and success, with cards showing renewed connection as the potential. But I've also seen readings where someone pulls cards about deep wisdom for their growth while their partner shows cards about being stuck in old patterns.
Questions for deeper insight:
"What is my soul calling me to become?"
"Does my partner support or resist my spiritual growth?"
"Are we becoming more ourselves together or less ourselves?"
Look for whether your cards show parallel growth, supportive differences, or fundamental incompatibility. Sometimes growing apart isn't anyone's fault - it's just what happens.
Question 5: What Does Your Intuition Tell You?
Alright, here's where we stop overthinking and start listening to that voice inside you that already knows the answer.
Your gut has been watching this relationship longer than anyone else, and it's usually trying to tell you something.
➤ Sit with this for a minute - imagine staying in your relationship exactly as it is right now for the next five years.
Nothing changes. How does that feel in your body? Do you feel peace, or do you feel that heavy, trapped feeling?
➤ Now imagine yourself completely free from this relationship.
Not necessarily with someone new, just... free. What comes up for you? Relief? Fear? A mix of both?
I've worked with so many women who ignore their intuition because they've been taught that leaving is selfish or that they should "stick it out." But your inner wisdom has been taking notes this whole time. It knows whether this relationship brings out your best self or makes you feel small.
Your intuition might be screaming at you to leave, or it might be whispering that there's still something worth fighting for.
➤ Both answers are okay.
The important thing is being honest about what you actually feel, not what you think you're supposed to feel.
The "Soul's Truth" Spread:
Card 1: What my intuition knows about staying
Card 2: What my intuition knows about leaving
Card 3: What my highest self advises
This is often the most powerful reading because it bypasses all the mental noise and connects you directly to your inner knowing. A client recently pulled a card showing feeling trapped for staying, a card representing hope and new beginnings for leaving, and a card about trusting your inner wisdom for what her highest self advised.
Deep questions for your intuition:
"If I imagine staying exactly as things are for five more years, what do the cards show me?"
"If I imagine being completely free from this relationship, what energy comes through?"
"What is my soul's deepest truth about this situation?"
Trust what comes up, even if it's uncomfortable. Your intuition speaks through the cards, but it also speaks through your body's response to them.
Working with Difficult Cards
Sometimes the tarot will show you things you don't want to see. You might pull cards representing major change, sudden revelation, or painful endings.
These cards don't necessarily mean "leave immediately," but they're asking you to look honestly at what needs to transform.
➤ Remember that challenging cards often point to necessary growth.
A card about endings might be showing you that your old way of being in relationship needs to die for something healthier to be born. A card about sudden change might be revealing that illusions you've been maintaining are ready to crumble, making space for truth.
Don't panic if you see "scary" cards. Instead, ask:
"What transformation is being called for here?"
"What truth is trying to emerge?"
"How can I honor what these cards are showing me?"
When Tarot Points to Working on the Relationship
Sometimes your cards will consistently show potential for renewal - cards representing hope after challenge, renewed love and healing, or conscious choice in love.
This doesn't mean ignore red flags, but it might mean there's something worth exploring with professional help, deeper communication, or spiritual work together.
Cards that might suggest working on things:
Cards showing conscious choice and working through challenges
Cards representing seeking guidance or traditional support
Cards about patience and finding balance
Cards showing rebuilt foundation and celebration
If your cards consistently point this direction, consider whether you're both truly willing to do the work transformation requires.
When Tarot Points to Leaving
➤ Other times, your cards will consistently show themes of liberation, new beginnings, and stepping into your authentic power.
You might see cards representing new adventure and trust, walking away from what no longer serves, or clear boundaries and self-advocacy appearing regularly.
Cards that might suggest it's time to consider leaving:
Cards about walking away and seeking deeper meaning
Cards representing new beginnings and leaps of faith
Cards showing necessary decisions and karmic balance
Cards about following your truth and spiritual guidance
If these themes keep appearing, your cards might be affirming what your heart already knows.
Need help recognizing the patterns in your life?
Click Here ➤ to Download a free copy of your tarot journal and start seeing the patterns unfold.
Moving Forward with Your Truth
These tarot spreads aren't going to hand you a neat, tidy answer - real life doesn't work that way.
But they can help you understand what you're actually dealing with and connect you more deeply to what you already know.
Some women work through these readings and realize they want to fight for their relationship with a clearer understanding of what needs to change. Others discover they've known the answer for a while but needed permission to trust themselves. Both paths are valid.
Remember:
Tarot reveals what's already within you - it doesn't make decisions for you
Relationships are complex, and the cards honor that complexity
Your intuition is the ultimate authority on your life
It's okay to take time with big decisions
You deserve to be in a relationship where your soul can thrive
Whatever the cards are showing you, remember that this is your life we're talking about.
You don't have to stay in a relationship that consistently diminishes your spirit, and you don't have to leave if you genuinely believe healing and growth are possible.
If you're still feeling uncertain after working with these tarot spreads, that's completely normal. Big decisions take time, and the cards will continue to offer guidance as you're ready to receive it. Trust that the right path has a way of becoming clearer when you stop rushing yourself and start really listening to the wisdom that's already within you.
➤ You deserve to be in a relationship where you feel heard, valued, and genuinely happy.
Whatever you decide, make sure it's a choice that honors who you are and who you're becoming.
Getting Support for These Decisions
Working through these questions can bring some clarity, but sometimes you need to talk it through with someone who isn't emotionally invested in your situation.
Someone who can help you see things from a different angle.
I work with women all over the country who are dealing with exactly what you're going through - that awful feeling of being stuck between staying and leaving, or just needing someone to help them figure out what their heart is really telling them. Through spiritual guidance and tarot readings, I help women connect with their own inner wisdom.
A lot of my clients are wrestling with relationship decisions, feeling completely confused about what to do next, or just needing a safe space to explore their feelings without judgment.
